[1]Photograph Credit: Flickr (Nate42)
Have you ever been to an event where you are not sure if you have stayed long enough or have over-stayed your welcome? Timing can be a tricky call. In dealing with arriving etiquette last week [2], we looked at four different events: wedding, dinner party, open house, and birthday party. Continuing with these four event types, let’s consider the etiquette associated with timing your departure.
Wedding
At the end of a wedding ceremony, guests remain seated. After the wedding party and the families of the bride and groom have made their exit, guests may rise and depart unless the bridal couple or ushers dismiss by rows.
Regarding the wedding reception, if the invitation required your response and you indicated that you would be attending the reception, please arrive at the reception. If your invitation required a response and you failed to accept or reject that request, please do not attend the reception. The reception seating and food arrangements are made based on the guests’ responses.
If you attend the wedding reception, be prepared to wait for the bridal party. Use your time wisely to interact with others as you graciously wait for the reception to begin. With some receptions lasting 3-4 hours, it is acceptable to make your departure after the cake has been served [3].
If you are having a great time, then plan to stay to see the happy couple’s parting. As you exit the reception hall for the couple’s getaway, be prepared to leave. Once the bride and groom are on their way, the reception has ended and you are expected to depart.
Dinner Party
Remember that your host or hostess has spent money, energy, and time to prepare for this event. Your presence is expected from the appetizer through the dessert. In kindness to your host, please plan to linger a bit before taking your departure.
If the event is going well and your hostess welcomes your company, then remain up to an hour after dessert. At that time, prepare to depart. If your hostess again wishes you to stay longer, then you can choose to depart or to remain. Just giving your hostess the option to ask you to stay is very polite. You do not want to over-extend your welcome.
Open House
When the invitation to an open house is extended, the time frame is stated, e.g. 2:00 – 4:00 p.m. Please be considerate of your host and hostess and depart no later than the ending time, e.g. 4:00 p.m.
Though the event hours may be over, there will still be cleaning operations that will commence shortly after the end of the event. If you extend your visit, then others will be inconvenienced. Please be considerate and leave at the designated time.
Birthday Party
For a birthday party where the departure time is listed, e.g. 9:30 – 11:30 a.m., plan to leave within 5 minutes of that time, e.g. 11:25 – 11:30 a.m. For a child’s party, where you bring your child, leave, and return to pick up, please arrive between 11:15 – 11:25 a.m.
If you know you will be late, please inform your host or hostess as soon as possible. Activities have been planned for your child at the party, but a late arrival by you is inconvenient and inconsiderate to the host/hostess. In accepting the invitation to arrive on time, please also plan to depart on time. Your host will be most grateful.
For a birthday party where only the beginning time is indicated, plan to leave within 1-2 hours after the cake has been served unless you are requested to stay longer.
These are just four types of events where knowing how long to remain and when you are expected to depart assist the guests as well as the host and hostess in executing a successful event. May you be informed of departure etiquette for your next wedding, dinner party, open house, and birthday party. Happy partying!
Question: At events, do you prefer to leave early or stay late? Please add your answer to the comments.